Of Funks & Hiatus

The first thought that came to my mind as I start writing this is: I AM STILL ALIVE

Ok, saying that kinda sounds morbid? I blame this melodramatic(!?) feeling of mine to the long hiatus I've had from writing. It's been a while since I last wrote something... personal here. Also, I feel like this page has gathered a lot of cobwebs already of which makes me feel guilty even more because I made a promise to myself that I would write more often.

I guess I'm not good with making promises then? YIKES.

Anyway, here's a quick life update for all of you-

My brain has been busy jumping from one project to another lately. Work has been pretty much busy and crazy since we've got three big projects rolling for this year. Our team is currently doing a 10-episode sex comedy series for HOOQ, a streaming app. We still have four(!!!) more shooting days to finish the remaining episodes, while post-production will be on a roll until September.

In case you wanna check it out our sex-positive series, HOOQ drops a new episode, on both their app and on their website for free, every Friday. Episodes one to five is available for streaming for now as well.

Ok, forgive me for doing a shameless plug here!!

Aside from the sex series, we're also working on a rockumentary and a true-crime series. The projects were commissioned by two different clients, but both needs to have a pilot out by the end of the year. So, I need to make sure that happens... in four months!!

The former is currently in the production stage. I've managed to squeeze in two shooting days, and I have to say- it was insane! Also, it was my second time to direct a shoot (it happened on the very last minute!!!) so my head was all over the place- WHICH IS NOT THE WAY TO GO!!!!- and I was having a tiny heart attack before and during the shoot. But thankfully, I managed and emerged from that shoot alive. I don't know how, but I fucking did!

I just have to say that my takeaway from that moment... is that I'm very much happy working as a Producer than being a Director... especially if you're working with rockstars! LOL

On the night of the second shoot, we had to film an actual gig. It was crazy fun- except for the paying for an overpriced iced tea part. Haha! It was my first time to watch a gig again, not to mention to go to a crowded bar in Makati, and on a Friday night. We finished filming before midnight, and by the time I woke up a few hours after I swear I could still hear the drums and the bass ringing in my ears.

As for the latter, the crime series is currently on pre-production/writing stage. And to be honest, this project is giving me tiny heart attacks at some point. But let's not get into that for now.

So that's pretty much what I've been up to lately. There are so many things happening and I'm trying my best to stay focused to get things done. I'd like to think that I've managed to do so because there are days where I feel an accomplished (wonder)woman. And I suppose that's a good thing, right?

But I won't lie, I also have those days where I feel exhausted and depleted. Whenever that happens, I find myself fighting hard the feeling of just staying in bed and cry. And that's not a good thing too because it leads to more problems; from feeling frustrated, angry, and empty, among other things.

I think this quote from Jeanette Winterson best explains what I feel:

"The body shuts down when it has too much to bear; goes its own way quietly inside, waiting for a better time, leaving you numb and half alive."

But ok, before you judge me though, I'm telling you now that I'm doing something about it. I won't go into details about it, but let me assure you that I'm working on this. All I can say is that I need to get out of this funk. And first on my list is how to get out of this negative madness that's been lurking around me.